f a i l u r e

“A champion is defined not by their wins,

but by how they can recover when they fail.”

-Serena Williams-

Everyone experience failure. Everyone get sad. And that’s very n o r m a l .

And this is how to deal with failure 101.

He he .

Accept and Learn From It

Firstly, accept it. For me, acceptance is the hardest. But it’s the most important thing before you do anything. Accept your failure, know that you’re fail—and that alright. Just like what I said before, everyone experience it and that’s normal thing. It’s just a part of being human.

I don’t know if this right analogy or not, but try to imagine your failure as a bad weather. See the failure as normal as you see the rain. Or maybe if it’s storm for you, remember that storm will pass too. That’s not the weather that matter, but how you react to it. If it’s rain outside, you can choose to dance in the rain or stay at your home making hot ginger. But you accept the reality that it’s raining and that’s okay—that’s normal.

Then, you should also learn from it.

There are two options when you experience failure, you can either regret about it, or learn from it. Obviously, choose the second option. From your failure, try to identify why it happened, then do the right way in the next time.

And if you ask, so what’s the right way? Well, it depend on your own failure case. And maybe everyone have their own spesific problems. If it’s about studying, I suggest you to watch “insight” in zenius app (if you’re zenius user) and Sabda will said to you about common mistakes in studying and how to overcome it, about goals and motivation, problem in studies, learning how to learn, et cetera.

Stop Comparing

Somehow, comparing ourselves to others most likely only lead to negative impacts. Some times we compare our page 25 with page 125 of other people. We started to feel insecure, and bad about ourselves. Just. Don’t. Do. It.

Darling, you need to ignore what everyone else is doing and achieveng (in case it’s just make negative impact for you). Remember that your life is about breaking your own limits and outgrowing to live your best life. You are not in competition with anyone else. Push to outdo your past, not other people.

Stop Worrying

Sometimes we spent so much time worrying about things in our live that WE CAN’T CHANGE. We say,

“What if..”

“If I achieve that, I’ll be happy..”

“If I didn’t fail, I’ll live better”

Et cetera.

But truth is, if you didn’t go through what you went throught, you wouldn’t be who you are today. And if you didn’t experience the pain from that failure, life probably would have thrown another kind of pain, because that’s life. That’s just how life is. And remember, it’s not about the pain that you go through. It’s about how you go through it. Start focusing on how you deal with your failure instead of focusing on the failure itself. Because that’s how you grow yourself.

Support System

Having support system will help you to through sadness after the failure. Try to talk to your family or closest friends. Maybe you can also get positive vibes from youtube video or instagram, for me, I follow @perempuangagal . I like listening Kunto Aji’s songs : Bungsu, Rehat, Pilu Membiru and other song in mantra-mantra album. He he. You can find your support system too, anything that give you support and positivity.

And the most important is : get the support, from yourself too.

You know if the world already cruel enough, be kind to yourself. Don’t underestimate yourself!

Maybe you’ll hear voices that make you down, or other things. Please, don’t fckn’ care about negatives thought around you. Have a POSITIVE SELF CONCEPT about yourself. See good in yourself. Because your self concept will determine your way of think, your action, your idealism, and your decision making. Determine who do you want to be : you are what you think.

This is what I said to myself:

Dear myself,

Yes I know you have lot of things to regret

And reasons to giving up

But,

See how far you’ve come already

You have a lot to be proud of

And reasons to keep moving.

Yes, there’s not substitute

For hard work

There’s no replacement

Of time lost

There’s  no time for regret

About mistakes made

Or failure

Once again,

There’s no time for regret.

Smile again, stand up again!

Try Again

Jonathan Winters once said, “If your ship doesn’t come in, swim out to meet it!”

When you experience failure, is that means you just wanna give up? 

For me, when you still have time, or another chance. Try again.  When you fall, it’s not the time to giving up on your dream.  Not today.  Instead, focus to prove that you’re worth for it.

And what if you fail again?

You fail better.

For me, better to try until you finally can get relieved in your heart

And you can said—setidaknya diriku pernah berjuang. At least you’ve tried. At least you really tried. You really fight for it. And if at the end you know that what you want isn’t your destiny,

You accept it,

And even you fail again

You get the true victory.

For everyone that probably reading this :

Hey, it’s okay

You’re great!

Live your life again

Day by day

Failure by failure

It’s okay

We can always

Fight again.

P.S.

This post is reminder for myself, too. 

+Disclaimer : 

this is only my personal opinion and I just wanna share what's in my thoughts.